Three

3 days! It's these last final days before that are the most difficult. Performing is a mind game, and I feel like all my music is prepared and I am totally ready for this recital. And now I wait to perform it. How do I keep energy? How do I keep my practicing interesting? I suppose the answer could be to perform more often in front of others.

I plan to do lots of slow practicing tomorrow. This way I can focus on planning when to put my next left-hand finger down and which notes come next and make sure they're in tune. Tomorrow I am planning to play in Forum (if Aaron can show up?). I will try to focus on being visually attractive and exciting to watch. I will also try to sustain all the syncopated rhythms and make sure that I don't rush anything.

For the Bach, I thought of a word that could "bring me back" if I ever lose my train of thought or start getting side tracked during performance. The word is GRAVITY. This helps me remember to mesh with the strings and go for that full sound all the time. Gravity also helps me remember the overall structure of the piece.

Seven!

One week to go!

My off-campus recital went pretty well last night. At least everyone I talked to enjoyed it. I found that I had trouble concentrating! Maybe it's because there was a big light shining right in my eye literally 10 feet from my face...but I found it hard to control my thoughts and think about the music that was happening in that moment. I often started thinking about what was coming next. So I would close my eyes and try to just think about the music in that moment. I think the Brahms went very well, probably because I used music. :) I was able to be musical and connect my phrases. I was probably most anxious for the Bach, mostly because it's unaccompanied and so long. I had the most memory fumbles in this piece, but nothing too drastic, I was always able to recover quickly. I liked my tone and the pacing and I think I did an okay job of portraying my ideas of structure in the piece. My Liszt etude on the piano went very welll (but this blog isn't about that!). And the Barber was alright, not my best. I was kind of tired by the time I came to this. I had a memory slip in the first movement that I've had before. The second movement was pretty good, but it's slightly my favorite of the three. The third movement was okay, except I had some counting issues. I do think I did an ok job of making it more than just an etude, I was able to play with dynamics and shaping.

Today I'm taking a break from playing, because it's my birthday:)

Eight

I have a performance today. I know I'm ready for it. I performed the Barber 3rd and Brahms 1st movements yesterday in studio class. It gave me a little confidence knowing that I can get through the pieces and the Brahms was actually quite musical. I'm excited for my recital tonight in Columbus. I'm sure everyone will love it, and give me support afterwards. At this moment, however, I would like to clear my mind and try to think about enjoying the music tonight. This is something I am currently learning. Music is emotionally moving, and people do listen to it to get their emotions played with (ending in a preposition is bad!). I want to be able to do this for my listeners. I also don't want to be boring to watch. I want to move a little bit and let the music move me! I will report more on this after the performance...

Eleven

Today (Yesterday) Aaron and I ran through the Brahms and Barber consecutively. There were several sections in each movement that we took note of after the run through. We also rehearsed Barber 3 some more more and I realized that I need to really count around rehearsal 7 and 11.

I also ran through the Bach and had a pretty large memory slip-I had to get out the music. This is ok though, because now I will just be extra attentive at that spot.

Tomorrow I plan to run through the entire program cold. I'll let you know how that goes....

Twelve

I just had a lesson with Amy on Barber 3rd and Brahms 4th. For the Barber Amy said I need to make it musical now, since I have the technical part learned (finally!!). I am to work following the direction of the notes and getting a lighter touch so that my sound doesn't sound so labored--and hopefully will allow me to go faster! I need to crescendo to the tops of phrases especially on that part before rehearsal 5 when I have the ascending line with Aaron. On the last page Amy said I just need to go for it, and that's pretty much all I can do! On the last line I need to make a large gesture on the final Eb upbeat so that it looks exciting even if-God forbid-I miss the last note. I feel somewhat better and more confident about this movement now!! Yay!

On the Brahms Amy said I need to sing along more in my style. I'm chopping phrases to exaggerate the dynamics and it's not good, and not working. So I need to remember to sustain every beat and not simply gloss over notes. Aaron rushes a lot...I guess I rush sometimes, so we need to get that under control.

Yesterday I ran through my entire program again. It went better than the previous day, meaning that I wasn't so tired and flabbergasted at the extensiveness of the program. I feel like I'm at a stagnant point with the Bach, it's not as exciting to play right now, and I think I'm worrying about the tempo too much. Maybe I will have better luck tomorrow!

I'm getting a little more excited for these recitals each day, so that's good! My recital in Columbus is in 4 days--woohoo!

Fourteen

Two weeks from today! I think I'm ready. :) My off-campus recital is in 6 days, so I'm more anxious about that!

I just played through my entire program (with the piano piece I want to play) and it is so long. I guess I didn't realize just how long it was until now. I've decided to play Brahms first, followed by Bach, intermission, Liszt(piano), and Barber.

Today I was pretty much just blown away by the hugeness of the program, so I just tried to think about saving energy as I went, and most importantly, enjoying the music in the moment. It was difficult not to think about future notes, or pieces, and notes that had already happened. I definitely need to play through the whole thing every day.

In Brahms, my intonation was a little off, probably from not playing the piece for a few days. I should concentrate less on vibrato and think about all the phrasing and mood changes I can create with the right hand alone.

The Bach was pretty mechanical today, not very musical. I still concentrate on trying to keep a steady tempo, maybe too much. The last two pages are becoming pretty solid and I think I've worked up a nice peak to the entire piece in the end of the 2nd section (D major section).

The Barber is still my favorite, even though I was pretty tired when I finally arrived to it today. The 3rd movement is still fresh in my memory and at times I worry about falling "off the track", so I think I need to grab some random people into my practice room and play for them, with Aaron, to make it more intimidating with all of the rhythm changes.

Sixteen

So, in my defense, I did blog yesterday-last night, but my laptop battery died and the computer shut down before I was able to post my entry. So enough excuses-16 more days!

Yesterday I rehearsed Barber 3rd with Aaron. We played through it with the metronome several times and eventually I was able to play it through without the music. I just need to do this several more times so I am comfortable playing it from memory in front of people!

Then we ran through the Brahms 1st movement. The tempo is up to performance tempo now, and now I need to remember all the musical elements that I worked on when it was slower.

We also ran the Barber 2nd movement and part of the 1st. With these movements I need to practice what I am going to do when the piano plays without me. I don't want to look distracting, and I want to look like I am enjoying the music while I am not playing. It is pretty much my favorite piece on the program, after all!

Maybe I'll perform some Bach for mom and dad tonight...